Numb
by mavk4444
Summary: "When I open my eyes, all I see is the bright blue sky and blinding sun. And when I close my eyes again, all I see is him."


**I apologize if anyone is out of character. With that said, I hope you enjoy :).**

* * *

I watch him, lying under the blue sky and smiling that smile that could easily outshine the sun. He aims that beautiful smile at me, and my heart instantly stops in my chest. I watch as his eyes shine with excitement and childish happiness.

"Can we play tag?" He asks me. I nod dumbly. I don't trust myself to speak. He laughs. A warm feeling settles itself in my chest.

We run through the field. The tall grass brushes against my legs, and I force myself to run faster. He's shrieking with laughter. Each beautiful sound that falls from his perfect lips intensifies the closer I get to him. Just as my fingers are about to brush his side, he skitters away.

"You can't catch me!" He taunts, sticking his tongue out. My lips threaten to curl into a smile, but I force it away.

"We should be training." I say gruffly, stopping. He frowns, and I instantly wish I could take back what I said. But then he smiles again, and I feel better. The warm feeling is back in my chest. It is stronger this time.

"But Ludwig," He says, and I flush at his use of my human name. "This is just like training! Only so much more fun!" I watch the brilliant smile light up his face.

I feel an urge to kiss him. I want to go up to him and wrap my arms around him. I want to do it so badly that my feet begin to inch towards him. I grimace. My feet move back. I can't do it, no matter how badly I wanted to.

He didn't love me. Not in the same way I love him. He only saw me as his friend, the one that saved him when he got into trouble, the only that tied his shoes for him. He would never think of me as anything more.

Strangely, I accepted it. I accepted the burning feeling I felt in my chest when I thought about it. I accepted the inevitable sadness that loomed over me when I couldn't escape my thoughts. And most of all, I accepted the pain I was sure to go through when he told me he didn't feel the same.

"Go on…Italy." I say. I want to say his human name, but I decide not to. It seems too intimate. I know saying it, realizing how close I am, will only hurt me more. It would allow me to see how far gone I am.

"Yay!" He cheers, spinning around in a circle. He laughs, but this time I don't feel a warm sensation in my chest. This time, it feels icy cold. I shiver slightly.

He takes off suddenly, laughing. My feet begin to move. Every step I take feels heavy and forced.

"You'll never catch me, Germany!" He says cheerfully. I stop abruptly. He doesn't mean his words the way I take them. At least, I don't think he does.

_"You'll never catch me…"_

I knew I had accepted it. But it still hurts. The icy cold feeling is back in my chest. I feel like it is suffocating me.

_He's never going to love you, _a cruel voice snarls in my head. My hands tighten into fists at my side. I don't know why I'm getting so angry. I know it's true. My hands slowly begin to relax. Italy continues to run ahead, unaware that I had stopped.

I blink, and the world in front of me blurs. I feel my face scrunch up. I continue blinking until the blurriness is gone. Something warm and wet drips down my face, rolling gently across my cheek, the corner of my lip, down my chin, and falling onto the top of my shirt. I look down at it, seeing a small dark spot the size of a dime. I hesitantly raise my hand up, brushing it against my cheek. The tip of my index finger is wet. I stare at it, surprised.

I sink down to my knees. Semi-wet dirt squishes against my knees. I don't notice. I think it's because I'm too numb to feel anything.

_Numb._

Huh. So this is what it feels like to be heartbroken.

"Germany!" I hear him calling for me. But I ignore it, squeezing my eyes shut. I allow myself to fall back onto the ground, adjusting myself so that I am lying flat on my back. When I open my eyes, all I see is the bright blue sky and blinding sun.

And when I close my eyes again, all I see is him.


End file.
